Welcome to 2019
2. Announcements
3. Todayโ€™s show brought to you by Peace Love โ€˜nโ€™ Pops and #ModernAirSolutions LLC โ€” Hankโ€™s Fine Furniture
and Gulfworld, Panama City Beach :
4. Paula stuff. Hydration word
5. Paulโ€™s Jokes
6. Weird News this Week:
a. Wild monkeys with herpes in Central Florida: Population on the verge of doubling
b. Cops grieve โ€˜Krispy Kreme Doughnutsโ€™ lost in NYE truck fire: โ€˜No wordsโ€™
c. Woman arrested after falling for Ebola-tainted meth Facebook post
d. Man fires shots at Taco Bell employees for forgetting his sauce
e. โ€˜Turdisโ€™ bus driver toilet removed after complaints
f. Camel Bites Off Ownerโ€™s Head After Being Tied Up In Heat All Day
Facebook Viral Bullcrap:
g. You cannot change your news feed.
h. Regardless of how legal the privacy prohibition sounds, or what bogus news station is
used in confirming it, you cannot change the terms and conditions by posting something
on your timeline.
i. No, Jesus is not going to bless you for sharing a cut and paste post
j. Fake science websites giving unsubstantiated data without sources to plausible
researchโ€ฆIE, antivaxxers
7. Itโ€™s 2019, and itโ€™s time for new years resolutions. Here are a few that should be a little easier to keep:
a. Start washing your hands after you go to the terlet.
b. โ€‹Rember the important things important
c. Stop Buying cheap knockoffs that end up not streaming open mic at Redds.
d. Go with the flow.
e. Donโ€™t be squirrely on my decisions.
f. Be more efficientโ€ฆdonโ€™t waste half of January trying to keep your stupid resolutions.
g. Stop using Stars Wars quotes during sex.
h. Use the phrase โ€œYour Momโ€ more often during staff and business meetings.
i. Exercise your rightโ€ฆto eat more buckets of chicken.
j. WATCH AND SHARE NOTHING SCRIPTED WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET.